Dust Yourself Off and Try Again
It has been a while since I have posted and to tell you the truth, it has been a while since I have sat with myself and taken the time to notice what is going on in my body. I have had the most wonderful few months though; I have a new job on the horizon, I have surrounded myself with my amazing friends and partner, I have been making some wonderful memories and for a short while, everything has seemed quite normal. But with good times now comes consequences and boy am I feeling them lately. Although the last few weeks have been amazing and I do not regret a thing, the MS is now making itself known now more than ever, so now would be the perfect time to listen. Today I have woken up feeling exhausted, my body is aching a lot and the numbness/pins and needles are making an appearance yet again, but it is okay because I will try again to take care of myself, to heal and to be patient - this is going to be a journey after all.
I have recently been told by my neurologist the type of treatment I will be undergoing; it is called Ocrevus and the good news is that I will only be getting it every six months, so I won't be in and out of hospital as much as I expected. The bad news however, is that I will have to put off having children anytime soon if I am wanting to get better and to avoid another relapse. It has been a bit of a tricky one to get my head around; I have not long turned 25, up until the last year I believed I didn't really have to think about having children, it would just happen freely whenever me and my partner decided. But if one thing has become obvious, it is that I am not like other people my age anymore really, and that is okay. I was terrified at first to start treatment because it felt like that was admitting that this is my life now, that I have this thing I can't ever get rid of; but now I am looking forward to it, it will not be a cure but it will certainly help me along the way.
One of the main reasons why I have not kept up to date as much with this blog is because while I do want to raise awareness and document my own journey, I don't want it to be my whole life. I have MS, it does not have me. For a while it felt like my world had ended, like things would never be the same for me and they have not, but it has not been a bad thing. It has taught me to make the most of every day, to appreciate everything and everyone around me, to be grateful and to take each day as it comes. So for now I am happy, excited and can't wait to see where else life takes me.